But, he wasn’t. “No, Allie.” Malinda spoke slowly, “they are taking him to the morgue.”
I was literally puffing on a joint as her words crashed violently against my eardrums. My face fell, my entire demeanor changed. I sat in shock for a small eternity. I honestly don’t even remember the rest of the phone call. Tears streamed down my cheeks – wet and hot.
My heart immediately started pounding out of my chest. The very worst thing that I could have ever imagined happened has happened. My entire world crashed down all around me…
I passed the joint to whoever took it from me and I got up and went outside, Malinda was still talking in my ear. I don’t remember how long I was on the phone with her, it could have been seconds or minutes but I wasn’t listening.
My sister’s husband and my nephew were playing outside as I leaned up against my mom’s mustang. they stopped playing once they heard my sobs.
I got off the phone and I looked at my sister and I blurted out, “he’s dead, Chris is dead”
Not really knowing what to do my sister rolled up a joint and she had me get in her van and we just drove for a while.
I had this overwhelming feeling that I wasn’t alone. Chris was there with me in that van, his spirit was with me. I didn’t know what to say at first but then I just cried and I talked about him the best way I knew how. I mentioned my love for him, I mentioned feeling his spirit and I talked about how he always said the most peaceful way to die was after doing a big fat shot of heroin and that’s what the fuck he did.
We returned to my mom’s once I was able to regain my composure good enough.
They were all there for my birthday, we were to go on a kayak trip and so I decided, for Chris, I’d go out and I’d try to have a good time because that’s what he’d want me to do.
I put the news to the side and we set off to Warner Boyce State Park and we rented two kayaks and we paddled them all the way to the ocean. The view was outstanding! Once my mom got tired we paddled back and made our way back to our tiny house.
My day would have ended alright if my mother didn’t ruin it by making snide remarks like, “ding dong the dick is dead” and more inappropriate comments.
I spent that entire night staring at photographs of him and us, crying myself to a stupor.
I spent that night with him in my dreams. I remember them vividly and woke up the next morning confused and angry. It wasn’t just some nightmare to wake up to. He was gone.
The first thing I did was call the Salisbury police department which transferred me to the county police. I asked them if they could confirm the death of my husband because I needed to hear it from someone else other than his mother.
Not only did they confirm his death but they questioned me about my whereabouts and told me there was signs of foul play, but didn’t give me any more details.
I called everyone in Wicomico county I could think of that could possibly give me answers.
I was left feeling just as clueless and distraught as I started the day.
Chris’ brother, Terry, found his body after he’d gone two days without responding to anyone. I may have been the last person he messaged.
The police reports them arriving at the scene at 1249pm. The EMT found Chris sitting and laying face down on his side, and that he was cold to the touch. The EMT pronounced Christopher deceased at approximately 1255 hours. They stated that they believed that Chris was deceased for approximately 8 hours. They had found a spoon with possible paraphernalia.
The police observed the scene and Chris was partially sitting and laying on the side of his face.
“Christopher had multiple bags of clothes on the boat, and it appeared that he had been staying in the cabinet of the boat. I took multiple photos of the scene. I observed an empty black and red bottle of ZAZA red pills on the floor of the boat. I later found a spoon in one of Christopher’s bags. The spoon did not appear to have any signs of drug residue on it. As I continue to search one of Christopher’s bags, I locate 2 bags of unknown brown powdery substances, suspected to be bath salts.
I contacted the on-call Medical Examiner and Lawrence Towles responded. Towles observed the scene and later advised that Christopher will be going to Baltimore for an autopsy. Towles report number is 23-07215. I also issued Towels a report number. Towles advised that Holloways Funeral Home was responding per his grandfather’s request. 1st sergeant Burley Kirkpatrick responded and took over the scene. He found 2 needle caps, however, no needles, and a cell phone. The funeral received Christopher’s body and transported it to Baltimore for an autopsy.
After Christophers body was removed from the scene, DFC Kirkpatrick observed a straw with possible drug paraphernalia residue. We collected all the items and transported them to the wicomico county sheriffs office and placed them in a property evidence locker.
The case has been forwarded to C.I.D. for further investigation.”
You have no idea how many times I have read the police report. How many times I’ve imagined what his body must have looked like, lifeless and keeled over on his side. I relive the nightmare every time.
The next few weeks my time was filled with uncomfortable conversations, signing away on all these documents and preparing for my trip up to Maryland to attend his funeral.
Allie Willey 