June rolls around before I know it. I love my job, I love my dogs, I love that I’m starting to get hobbies again and go on little adventures. I’m working on who I am as a person and she’s a great person.
I wake up one morning feeling ill but I go into work anyways. By the time I finish half my shift I can’t do it anymore and I go to the office and have them call an ambulance.
Going to the hospital in Lebanon I discover I have pnemonia and I stay there two nights getting stabbed and poked by so many needles and them running all sorts of tests they discover a mass on my lungs but discharged me before discovering what it was.
I go into work and get fired for missing work while in the hospital and when I get home the doctor calls me and asks me to come back because the mass was a rare bacteria growing on my lungs.
I spend another 3 days in the hospital.
Jobless and drained from almost dying I lose myself for a little. I got depressed. I slept all the time and didn’t do anything around the house. I would forget to take my meds more frequently and I’d get anxiety and crying spells.
Dakota hadn’t had a job the whole time we were there and now I wasn’t working so things were becoming pretty tight.
At this point living at his grandma’s as long as we had Dakota was on edge at the house almost constantly. He was meeting up with old friends from his past criminal days and finding any reason he could to go out.
It wasn’t uncommon for us to just drive around to different fish stores.
But, eventually I did get a job at the McDonald’s in town. After I started working things got a lot better again. I felt better, our relationship was better and things at home were manageable.
I was still dealing with Dakota freaking out on me for things I wasn’t even doing but I was learning to handle it better.
Then we got into another fight. I had some energy and wanted to clean the basement so I grabbed the mop bucket and went upstairs. Dakota was pooping so I was waiting outside the door when he told me I could come in there. Just as I was about to dump the bucket of dirty water down the tub drain he decides to go off on me.
Makes me feel stupid because I should have known better that mop water needs to be dumped outside, in the country you can’t be putting just anything down the drain. Then he hits me with a, “what you have to be around me that much”.
That’s what got me. Tears in my eyes, and avoiding eye contact I take my dirty mop bucket and I go outside. During my time outside I go over the situation that just happened and instead of my usual get sad, take his side, apologize and move on hopefully – I start getting mad as fuck. How dare he degrade me and treat me like shit and how dare he make me feel crazy or obsessive after he called me in there. What the fuck is his problem treating me like shit.
I fix up the bucket, go back inside and go to bed. The next day I don’t talk to him and I go upstairs to the guest room. I’m mad mad. Not once does he try to talk about it, make things better or cheer me up. He just lets me get mad
I’m texting him from upstaira and he’s not replying and I’m crying with disbelief.
Next day he says his phone died but he still didn’t try to fix anything and that didn’t sit with me. He spent the entire next day out, on my day off. He was avoiding the entire thing and I just dwelled on it and I eventually wasn’t mad anymore I was hurt. Hurt he didn’t fight for my happiness even a little bit.
So while he’s gone all day I make my way downstairs since he’s gone and I sleep with the dogs in the big bed. He comes home with a milkshake and offers it to me in bed. Like nothing ever happened he sits on the couch. I walk over and sit across from him expecting to have a respectable conversation and resolve this issue I was having.
Mind you it’s a Thursday at this point. He says no, that on Saturday we were going to dinner with his step mom and that we’d talk about it then. So instead of fighting, even though I felt disgusted, I got up and said fine I’ll be upstairs til then.
Halfway up the stairs he yells out to me calling me a whore. Those words hit me and I saw red. I ran back down the stairs and got in his face and told him to never disrespect me like that.
And to my surprise he reaches out to my breasts and grabs them, twists them and proceeded to push me down into the love seat. Instead of coming at him, I glaced over and see his pot plant so I grabbed it and did my best to destroy it as much as I could until he was able to stop me.
He grabs me and puts me in an arm lock then starts hollering for his grandma. I’m yelling at him telling him to break my arm and after what seemed like forever she finally comes down and he lets me go.
Allie Willey 