Chapter 7

Almost immediately after we arrived back in Missouri Dakota got a call from a man he worked for in Florida and he needed his help on a project in Atlanta. He jumped at the opportunity because it was a chance to make some really good money. But if he was going to go then I had to go with him because there was no way Dakota would have stayed awake long enough not to crash.

Atlanta tested our relationship. Things did not go according to the plan in Atlanta and there was bickering and I messed up our reservations at a hotel then the car broke down.

Our car broke down right in front of a hotel and we had Chewie and things weren’t going well at all. But, luckily for us, there just so happened to be a random mechanically inclined tweaker. He fiddled with this and banged on that and twisted and turned things. By God, it worked! Dakota shook his hand and thanked him and the guy just walked on off.

His boss rented an airBB and offered to let us stay with them there. Only problem was Chewie had to sleep outside which caused me to have a fit but once we got there things really weren’t that bad. Chewie did really well with sleeping in the car and the trip turned out to be really good.

We had some really good talks on our way back to Missouri. We ventured off and went sight seeing in Tennessee, too.

I was unsure about what the future held with Dakota getting a job full time doing racking around America that left me alone in Missouri taking over all the mom duties. But, this job meant the world to Dakota so naturally I supported his decision and was ready to make that commitment.

The weeks went by. And they went by. Dakota was let down by the job in Florida.

I came to the realization that I am the toxic one in this relationship. I wasn’t healed and I brought the instability into Dakota’s life. I did that.

I don’t know how to be in a healthy relationship because I had been with Chris for so long I was conditioned into a certain way of life. I drove Dakota to the point of physical abuse because that is what I was used to. I didn’t realize it at first but my behavior and, honestly, my mental illness – being bipolar – had me acting manipulative and I was mimicking some small narcissistic traits of Chris that he unleashed onto me.

Once I realized this I knew how to stop myself from going that far.

We did have one little fight that did not become physical since I’ve gotten back. He broke up with me and I didn’t know how to react so I got out of the car. Right on a busy ramp.

I walked up the hill and across the road by a hotel and some office buildings. I had so much running through my head. I felt like I’ve put in the work why aren’t the results happening the way I imagined they would?

He picked me up and we drove home. I talked to him about what I discovered about myself and how I drove him to become violent with me and how sorry I was. He was elated! He’s been wanting me to realize this since it happened the first time but then I slit my wrists and drove him to madness.

After that talk things have been good, really good. I mean we have little spats like normal couples do but our communication is key and I think we’re both at a point where we’re not afraid to voice our concerns with one another.

Then there was an incident with Caiden. He was quite obviously depressed, he was having crying spells at our house every other week and at school.

We pressured him gently to tell us what had been going on but he was reluctant.

He told us he was getting verbally and physically abused by his mother’s boyfriend. Apparently, he was calling Caiden a ‘faggot’ and putting his hands around Caiden’s neck. His mom encouraging him to do it.

He didn’t care about Christmas, he didn’t care about seeing his presents all he wanted was to stay here with Dad and us. We were hearing his emotions and we were planning accordingly.

No, Caiden would not be going back to his moms. Not as long as her boyfriend is there.

The day he was supposed to return to his mom’s she attempted to pick Caiden up at school and Caiden refused to get into the car with her so the school called Dakota so he left to go settle everything but by the time he got there she was gone.

Later that day here comes Caiden’s mom and boyfriend with the Grandma GiGi. I was standing up in the living room so I peaked my head over and told Dakota who it was.

He shot up off the couch and ran towards the back door where they had parked. The boyfriend was standing up away from the car and buffed up his chest. Dakota ran full force towards him and screamed something about him picking on little boys then WAM!

The boyfriend didn’t give Dakota a chance to even fight back he popped him with brute force onto Dakota’s nose, immediately shattering it. Dakota runs over and grabs the rake.

Caiden is screaming in the background and I’m frozen in place until Dakota let out an animalistic yell towards the boyfriend, he throws the rake down away from the boyfriend and he goes inside.

Blood everywhere. There was blood on the door, all over the floors, the couch and all over Dakota. His nose was fucked.

Caiden’s mom and GiGi come inside and everyone starts talking. They come to an agreement that Caiden could stay at our house that night.

While everyone was talking Caiden’s mom made a comment to me saying that she thought she was going to have to fight me tonight, too.

By the end of it all Caiden’s mom let him stay with us that night but she wanted Caiden to stay home from school the next day.

Dakota’s nose wouldn’t stop bleeding. It was clearly not doing so well and he needed to go to the hospital so I drove him up to Lebanon to get it looked at. The hospital gave him a referral to see a nose specialist.

The nose specialist saw multiple broken bones and she scheduled him for surgery that week. He went in for surgery and it seemed as if it still wasn’t healing correctly and he had a dip in the corner of his eye socket.

There isn’t much more the doctors could have done to fix it at that point so now he has to live with an incorrectly done nose job for the rest of his life.

We celebrated Christmas and the days and weeks and months flew by and Caiden still didn’t return to his mother’s. The law was involved now and Dakota filed charges on the boyfriend for hitting him. DCF was also involved and we were required to go to a few sessions with case workers for Caiden.

We started Caiden on therapy once a week, too.

I felt like we had a stronger connection than ever throughout this. I was able to attempt to be some sort of rock for him to be able to lean against for guidance and comfort and that made me feel a sense of accomplishment.

I guess I was wrong though because as time went by Dakota started to knit pick the things about me he wanted me to change.

And I obliged! I changed into what he needed me to be. I stepped up and transformed into the perfect woman. Or so I thought.